


Words

by seraphienus



Series: Sprigs and Blossoms [3]
Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:42:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7527826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphienus/pseuds/seraphienus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the best confession is not through words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote to cheer a friend of my girl's up. I just want to say you're a brave soul and you will continue to grow to become a better person with the kind soul you possess. Don't worry about falling, because there will always be people who are ready to catch you. We are all here for you, stay strong and proud of yourself.

Friendship with Sebastian Castellanos was like writing a journal. Every day there’s something to write about, something to comment about, and most certainly something to feel all sorts of emotions about—aggravated, frustrated, shocked, surprised, depressed, elated, relieved—you name it, he’s got it.

Ever since they started meeting out on a more regular basis, Joseph had begun penning a separate journal of his own. Something about keeping it made complete sense to do it, and after the initial couple weeks, it finally stayed as a habit and kicks in on auto pilot. It is not a daily thing, but any time they plan to do something together, that’s when Joseph would put it into words, and they become a memory to look back on.

 _Today is my birthday_ , and so he pens at the start of the page. He leaves the rest of it blank, because Sebastian said he was going to arrive any minute now and he wanted to put it away before he appears—always in the second drawer of the nightstand to the right of his bed. Then the door bell chimes.

He’s clad in a light grey crew neck under green-khaki-white checkered button shirt, sleeves rolled up neatly like he does with his uniform and it’s all that’s registered in Sebastian’s mind when Joseph opened the door, his hair pulled back neatly as though he were ready for work instead of their day out. Sebastian smiles warmly, trying to hide the fact that he had actually overslept the morning alarm and had randomly pulled a dark gray cashmere sweater to lop over his head and a pair of washed-out jeans that he could’ve sworn he don’t remember owning. But Joseph’s scrutinizing eyes made him realize that the cashmere is really suspicious after all, and perhaps he should’ve given the wardrobe a second chance for something more summer-appropriate.

“A little early for cashmere in summer, isn’t it Sebastian?” Joseph chuckles.

Sebastian could only scratch the back of his hair, embarrassingly, which was another byproduct of heavily-soaked washed hair being backcombed frustratingly with a hairdryer. And if there was anything he learnt this morning, he realized he was long overdue for a new one.

“I haven’t had coffee. A man without coffee should be excused from being embarrassed early morning.” Sebastian grins playfully as he let himself into his apartment, “Would you happen to have some?”

When he steps aside for Sebastian, he felt his stomach flip and his heart went along with it, but he caught his cool readily, “What person would I be if I didn’t have coffee ready for a guest?”

The following slight brush from Sebastian with the back of his hand over Joseph’s cheek definitely caught him off guard because he seems to be dusting a single fibre stuck off his cheek left by his face towel perhaps. But as usual, his partner has many ways of surprising him in various situations. Joseph quickly dismiss the action and walks towards his kitchen counter, pouring hot coffee from his dripper into a porcelain white ceramic cup, something about it seems to reflect the sort of person he is. And thus he won’t lie, or so Sebastian told himself, that the entirety of Joseph’s house was presentable as Joseph is, pristine representation—tidy, prim, simple and functional.

“Here you go.” Joseph places the cup in front of Sebastian who’s sitting on one of his two counter seat, cushioned and made from teak, _very fancy_ he once said.

Sebastian receives it with a smile, taking a quick whiff before he drinks it. Perfect, Joseph makes the best coffee a man could die for.

“So…” Joseph grabs the other half of the pair and sits across his partner as though they do in office, “Why have you asked me to get up so early?”

“The thing is,” placing the cup down, Sebastian explains, “We still have work later afternoon.”

“I realize that.” Joseph nods, though not sure what has that got to do with anything.

Sebastian hurries another take of the coffee, “So time is precious. And I have a gift for you.”

Now that was definitely not part of the plan for Joseph so to speak. But like he already knew, Sebastian is anything but boring, anything but in the box, everything that’s filled with spur. It was contest to his own personality for sure, however somehow the partnership has been doing well, so much that there were rumors about an upcoming promotion Sebastian could be receiving because of their astounding work. While Joseph has always been a play-it-safe kind of guy, no doubt Sebastian’s methodology has reaped its dues.

“Well where is it?”

Sebastian shakes his head, “You’ll have to pick it up. That’s why we’re here so early, we gotta head down and get it.”

The Japanese-Canadian couldn’t help resist a chuckle escaping, “What sorta blasphemy is this that the birthday boy has to get his own gift?”

“You’ll love it,” Sebastian quirks confidently, “Now, let’s go shall we?”

It took probably about 30 or even 40 minutes on the highway to finally get to nowhere—yes, nowhere. By Joseph’s observation, they’ve gotten off the highway into a junction of trees—no shops, no kiosk, no eateries nothing. It was just rows and rows of trees until a few private houses came up on the side, stone pavement made flimsy and weathered over time. All he could do was stare and wonder where on earth is Sebastian taking him, hopefully not a case of kidnapping he thought. At least the houses ease him, at least now they weren’t _nowhere_ but _somewhere_ , somewhere some people lived.

However about ten minutes down the same road again, Sebastian stops his car by the curb and pulls a blindfold—entirely made out of his tie—out and tells Joseph to turn his back to him, “Now’s the part where you’ll have to listen to me and trust me, okay?” He smiles playfully, “I can’t have you ruining your own surprise until you’re there, yes?”

Though apprehensive, Joseph gives in. Because honestly what else can be worse? At least they’re not on a case, or at least they’re not _supposed_ to… right?

But his questions vanished as quickly as they came for it only took a couple more minutes before he could feel the car reverse into a stop. They must be there. He could hear every little sound from the car with his eyes closed out like this, and quite frankly that made him a tad more nervous than usual too. But as though Sebastian felt it, he immediately reaches over to Joseph’s hand giving it a light squeeze, “Don’t worry, it’s not a haunted house I promise.”

Joseph chuckles, “It’s a good thing I’m not hearing screams then.”

“I can’t promise what other sounds you’ll hear though.”

The soft chuckles of Sebastian’s voice fluttering through his ears made them flush a little.

He follows the blind guidance; Sebastian holding his hand gently up some stairs creaking; the smell of grass and meadow whispers by; distant chirp of a bird; soft mewling behind a door. A door, Joseph thinks it is, because it just swung open by a soft taunt of its own hinges, Sebastian seemingly holding the door for him until he was through. A grassy smell is gone now; it’s replaced by something homely, something earthy, domestic. Then he hears something, more of the mewling, louder, clearer, and Joseph almost feels his heart racing at this point because Sebastian stops him in his track and he could clearly feel his hands reaching for the knot behind his head.

And once the tie loosens and falls from his eyes, he’s simply greeted by the most amazing, heartwarming swell in his heart beyond words.

“Happy birthday, Joseph.”

In the little room is a heap of puppies, all sorts of them; mutts mostly, beagles, Labradors, one of them all snow white and furry which Joseph didn’t know its breed, a dachshund, terrier, pugs, and he could go on all day if they hadn’t hop around excitingly around the fence near him begging for his attention.

Immediately he turns around to his partner, “Wh-what is this, Sebastian?”

Sebastian scratches the back of his head, looking a little bashful, “So, here’s what I was thinking. I thought dinner was too normal, a movie too cliché, a gift but I don’t know what’s functional enough for your taste, a visit to somewhere but we don’t have time—and there’s a lot more I thought of but they all sounded… _unimpressive_ , yeah?”

Joseph blinks at him, “Unimpressive? Were you trying to _impress_?” then he softens into a whisper, “ _…..me?_ ”

Did Sebastian try to impress? _Of course_ he did. He spent at least the last two weeks thinking about what he should get for Joseph. He thought about it when he was alone, then he paid attention to Joseph’s little behaviors; things he’d like to eat, things he’d take a second glance at, things that he’d talk about, it was genuine effort. It was perhaps so blatant that he has asked himself the same question more than twice: _it’s just his birthday, why am I getting so worked up for?_ But he couldn’t help it, the mere thought of being able to surprise Joseph, seeing him fluster pink even for a split second is enticing, is encouraging his efforts, _motivating_ him. In a weird way, he thinks he likes to surprise Joseph a lot more than he thought possible. It’s something almost precious rare about it—it’s a side of Joseph not many got to see. And lest to say, Sebastian is well aware of it.

“I just wanted it to be special.” Sebastian admits ruefully, “Is it a little… I don’t know—too much?”

 _How can it ever be too much?_ Joseph quickly dismisses his doubts, “No! I mean—it’s… it’s unexpected… unexpectedly thoughtful, Seb.” And he looks away embarrassed, mind still wondering what on earth did he ever do to deserve this much effort.

“You know with the type of work we do, it’s actually good that we have time to do something as tactless as this. You know me, tactless is my game.” As he speaks, he passes by Joseph and steps over into the pen, the pups immediately jumping up at him and clawing at his pant legs with their baby paws. So he finds himself a comfortable spot and sits down, petting on the old carpet urging Joseph to join him.

Joseph wonders where, or how did Sebastian ever get the idea that he likes dogs. He is rather certain that he doesn’t show it or exudes any qualities of a keen pet lover, nor does he talks about them enough to render him one but the weird truth is, Joseph never really thought much about dogs, or pets in genuine. Dogs are just sort of… companions for people, aren’t they? They are adorable creatures who possess an undying affection and love for their owners and they would give anything to spend even a minute with them and their attention. He agrees that they are indeed the most wonderful pets to have but he never thought of possessing one, never thought of holding one close either, but now faced with an onslaught of them, he has to join the party, doesn’t he?

Plus, Sebastian seems like he’s having a great time.

Slowly, Joseph crawls over the fence as well, settling beside Sebastian who already has a litter of them sitting all over his thighs and legs, his hands casually running through their fur and scratching them. A couple of them run towards Joseph the moment he settles down—he’s clearly surprised by that—and it made Sebastian grin, though his expression a little rueful again.

“Did I… mess up the surprise?”

One of the pups, black and brown uncertain of its breed, immediately jumps into Joseph’s arms and he had to catch him, cradling him like a little baby because he didn’t look like he was going to go any second soon. “Oh no, it’s not that. It’s just—I was really surprised is all.”

“I hope you don’t happen to… dislike dogs by any chance…? Do you…?” His words are so cautious that he made Joseph laugh a little louder than usual, and that usually should be a sign of relief that he didn’t mess up as bad as he thought he did.

Joseph runs a hand over the pup’s head gently, watching it nestle itself against his body, “No, it’s not that I dislike them… I just didn’t really think much about pets for myself.”

“Why not?” Sebastian couldn’t resist the curiosity.

Joseph looks away, “Well… a neighbor of mine when I was still young in Canada… he had a dog, and one day his dog passed away. He cried really hard, he was wailing all day and it just… I don’t know, made me scared of wanting one.”

Though not sure what it was in his voice but it was enough to make Sebastian let go of the pup he was petting to put it over Joseph’s hand again, “Why?”

Almost ashamed of his cowardice, the bespectacled companion looks down at the pup in his arms again, “I guess I’m afraid to love too much and then to lose it.”

“Hey…”

And as soon as Sebastian calls out to him, he stretches his hand across Joseph’s back over to his shoulder and pulls him close into him. The gesture startled the younger male but he doesn’t resist it either, just carefully leaning into his partner’s shoulder as he should.

“We don’t choose who we love.” Sebastian speaks softly, “We just… fall in it.”

The pup looks up at them and in a swift movement, he presses his paws against Joseph’s chest and licks his jaw in quick strokes, surprising Joseph yet again. Sebastian smiles, “And I think this one just fall in love with you.”

“What breed is this?”

“German shepherd, like the ones we have in the force.” Sebastian smiles, reaching over to carry the pup into his arms, “But with a little dedication, they can be tamed into perfect loving home companions too.”

When Sebastian held the German pup in his hand, their resemblance to each other made Joseph grow rosy in envy, “He looks just like you, Seb. Don’t ask me why, he just does.”

“Maybe…” he brings the pup up and the pup starts licking his nose in concession, making Sebastian laugh at the ticklish sensation. “Maybe. I mean, he does love you too.”

The swelling in his heart came so intense that Joseph couldn’t stop it from spreading all across his face, the pink flush that Sebastian has spoken so fondly of to himself now presenting itself before him that he stops to look at Joseph straight into his eyes. He drops the pup to his lap and leans forward to Joseph—could hear Joseph holding his breath staring back him in the same way. Words stuck in his throat, Joseph could only stare in silence, his teeth biting down hard on his lower lip hoping that he doesn’t fumble over and do something irreversible, but hoping Sebastian could do something instead, if _anything_.

“Joseph, I…” Sebastian found his own voice slop into a whisper, the thumping of his heart growing stronger with every passing second. What was he hoping out of this?

“I… I just want to say… you’re an amazing person.”

“So… so amazing that I think about doing this for you for the past two weeks. That I think… well, you deserve some spotlight too, yeah?”

Joseph continues to keep his silence.

“I thought of getting you the pet myself but I was worried what if you didn’t like ‘em, or that you only like selected breeds so I thought… well, what better place to test it out by bringing you to an adoption home for it?”

“Kinda worried for a sec I messed up.”

Joseph chuckles.

“But… like I said, we don’t choose who we fall in love with.”

Then he looks seriously at Joseph and takes a deep breath, “ _It happens when you least expect it._ ”

And it was Joseph now who stalls into a silent spur. Sebastian doesn’t waver. He looks serious—he _is_. Many times Joseph has dismissed the thought— _the possibility of something_ , if anything even exists, and he’s always been afraid, been scared to think further about it. It was the sole reason why he had always kept himself away from others, stopped himself from thinking of what-ifs, relied heavily on facts and results, dedicating his life away into his career because he didn’t want to have time to think about things like this. Precisely _this_ —this state that Sebastian places him in every day of his life ever since they met, got to know each other, got _closer_. It was he who rekindle his hidden fears because he thinks about it so ever often, that he tries so hard to ignore them, to pretend they didn’t exist. But Joseph knew he was a coward, he would never make the first move like Sebastian. He knew he would only come to care for him secretly, do things he would never notice, that only he knows the exact reason why he’d do them for.

 _That_ was the sort of person he is. But _this_ dog pen was just the way Sebastian is.

But what else should he do? Could he continue to pretend he didn’t feel the way he does because it was safer that way? Did he think so because it was better for Sebastian, …or was it more _convenient_ for himself actually? Just like his fear of loving because he’s afraid of losing it… or could it be better if he had—

“Better to love than to have never loved at all.” Sebastian sighs, feeling a little defeated even though he didn’t want to corner Joseph. Quite the contrary he didn’t even realize he was cornering him, he had acted upon his desired actions before he could even rationalize them quicker. _Crap, I fucked up._

“I’m sorry, Jo.” He quickly turns away. “Shoot, I didn’t even know what I was thinking when I was saying all those—”

“Did someone ever tell you you talk too much, Seb?”

And as quickly as those words left Joseph’s lips, Sebastian felt the sensation of those same lips pressed against his sharp cheeks before he could even react to it.


End file.
